My Wife, My Best Friend?

November 7, 2007

My Wife is my best friend… And, guess what? I think that’s the best thing ever. I do love her more than a normal friend and certainly in a different way. But when you boil it down I view her a the best, closest friend I’ve ever had, bar none. Maybe it’s best said that she is even more than a best friend. A Super-best friend. Someone I share everything with (with the exception of the crap I put up with at work).

What puzzles me is how could someone not be best friends with their mate. A few people I work with look at me like I’m insane when I tell them my wife is my best friend. That makes me wonder about the quality or worth of their marriage or living arrangements. I do work with a wide variety of cultures, Muslim, Hispanic, Blacks, Red Necks, and others. Not all clearly express that they don’t view their mates as best friends, but many don’t act like it. Talking about things they say or do without their mates knowledge tells it all.

So is “best friend” the better term? Don’t know… but I do know it’s working out well for us that way.


Love for my Wife

September 25, 2007

I have been married for 26 years… I know I love my wife more today than when we were married. She is not a perfect wife (for sure I’m not the perfect husband), but I love her more than ever. It’s more passionate and at the same time a the “best friend in the world” type of love, how can I explain that?

Several times in our marriage I believed we were doomed. But I never considered leaving or divorce because I knew it was me and at least 1/2 of it was my baggage. All I would have done is take the baggage to another relationship.

What brings me to this post is that we have some friends who are having problems with their marriage and some of it reminds me of our problems. The rushing around of little kids, jobs taking to much time, being second (maybe even last) in getting attention (sex, what sex?), the stress of money and everything else  and that’s not mentioning families that seem to complicate everything with their problems and hangups.

My advice… communication, but first listen… really listen. If you think everything is OK and your partner blows you out of the water with news you never suspected. You’re not listening…or paying attention, verbal or physically.

My problem was/is I like to solve problems. When my wife would share her problems, I wanted to offer solutions. WRONG ANSWER, (maybe I’m slow… but it took me 15-18 years to get this) listen and then listen to her but don’t offer solutions. Believe it or not that’s not what she wants. She want attention and someone to listen to her.

Talking… well I’m getting better at sharing my feelings, needs and fears.

Do I have all the answers… not even close. But my wife and I can weather the storms of life with our love, respect and trust in Jesus Christ.

I’m reading No More Christian Nice Guy by Paul Coughlin. Only about 1/4 the way thru and I find it interesting but I am hesitant about some of his ideas. Kinda like when I read Waking the Dead by John Eldridge.

I’m looking for input from someone who has read the book, and maybe someone make comments or criticisms of the book.

Hardcore History Review

July 14, 2007

I listen to a lot of Podcasts (around 22-27) some are daily some are only weekly. James MacDonald’s Walk in the Work is very good, especially this week.

But back to my review. Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History is the best history podcast I have found. He’s a radio personality (not sure I like his politics) but his history is good listening. He highlights interesting things and tells WHY events and cultures make a difference in history. The first of his podcasts I listened to was Bubonic Nukes, I know about the Bubonic Plague and how it changed history. But, he really nails the hows and whys of the times. He can almost put you in the times, so you can understand the mind sets and cultures. What is amazing is actually listen to the podcasts several times and take notes so I can do my own reading and research. My younger son (almost 15) loves it to! After listening to the one about Bubonic Nukes he said he knew the facts but Dan made it come alive and made him think. OK when you can make a 15 year old like history that’s something serious.

So what I’m gonna do for the next few posts is do reviews on my podcast I listen to. Next time I will make a list of all with links. I will also review a few I gave up and tell why. Podcasting is a medium that I love and have been listening to since almost the beginning when you had to do everything by hand to download them (before iTunes killed a few great aggergators).

So take a listen to Dan you won’t be sorry. He even tackled the Cold War and was quite fair to the issues.

And listen to James MacDonald for that way he just busts you in the chops (I love his podcast, it’s the most challenging and rewarding one I listen to. Though sometimes I need to build up the courage and honesty to listen to him DAILY.)

Salvation Project

May 16, 2007

In a little over two months (Aug 1) I’m going to publish my first podcast, Lord willing. As I’ve blogged before it’s called “The Salvation Project”, now I am determining which questions to ask. So, if someone would make a comment on a few questions that would be good to ask I would appreciate it very much.

The format will be like an interview type podcast with the interviewer being as silent as possible, allowing the interviewee to tell his story on his own. Of course, well maybe not of course, I believe in eternal security; so I will approach salvation from that theology.

For the next several months I will study salvation doctrine and reread the Gospels to gain a much firmer grasp on Salvation. It’s almost unbelievable to know that God would offer salvation to me, a sinner by nature, and a big one at that!

So if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to make comments and I will keep you updated on my progress.

My first victims interviewees will be my family and close friends. Or maybe if you’re willing to be interviewed please send an email or comment my way. A lot of podcaster say you just need to ask the big fish to have them help you, so I’ll be asking some big names once I get my feet wet. Some big fish like Chip Ingram, James MacDonald, James Dobson just to name a few. They could only say no, so what do I have to lose?

One of my favorite podcasts has a new site. It’s great. I sure would like to be able to build a site like that one.

My co-worker is talking to me again. For the 8-9 weeks he wasn’t talking to me. I was nice to him, said good night to him and other social things (with no response from him, not one word). I left him normal (and sometimes extra) communications about what went on during my shift during the “silence”. I finally left him a note asking what I had done to offend him and if he would tell me I would be more than willing to apologize, still no communication.

Then a few days later he just started talking like nothing had ever happened. You know what? In one way I’m relieved, and feel better about working with him. On the other hand, I’m more angry with him than when he wasn’t talking. I need to put that anger aside, because with no doubt, he’s the one with the problem. I do feel a little sorry for him.

I heard of a study on job satisfaction on a podcast (60 Second Scientific American) and the study claimed 47% of Americans were satisfied with their jobs and were happy about them. I believe that’s amazing. Maybe it’s this way; when you talk about a person’s job and say how difficult or bad it is they seem to defend the job. They might say it’s not so bad, or only at times it’s that bad or hard. Just a thought. I really like my job, and sometimes I love it. It just takes so much time from my life and family. It’s said no one at the end of their life says “I wish I’d spent a little more of my time at the office”.

Salvation Project

April 23, 2007

Here are the plans for my first podcast. The title will be Salvation Project and the idea is to interview Christians that are; friends, family, church members and podcasters. Maybe I could even get a few authors and business people. The idea came about because I lead a book study on Pilgrims Progress. Bunyan and the Puritans were big on asking “what was your salvation experience?”

I believe we as Christians today tend to not talk about our salvation experience, what a shame. Are we ashamed, unsure? maybe we don’t think it’s all that important. That tells me something is wrong, the salvation experience is the beginning of our journey, our second birth (into God’s family).

We celebrate physical birthdays, why not spiritual ones? Won’t they mean more to us in the long run? So that is the spring board for my podcast. I have a few projects to wrap up and a commitment to finish and I will be ready to start. More than likely late summer, or early fall. So if you’re reading this and think that sounds interesting make a comment and share your experience or even better volunteer to be one of the Christians I interview.

My plan for now is an edited type of podcast where the interviewer’s voice is rarely heard. I’ve heard several NPR radio shows with the style which I plan to use. One that I remember is a podcast called StoryCorps and it is about African Americans telling about the person who had the most positive influence on them when they were growing up. It’s a great podcast and several of the stories are very moving. My podcast need not be always touching or unique because my goal is to make this a thing we as Christians do more often. How better to lead people to Christ, than our testimony of how Christ saved us.

New Theme

April 19, 2007

Yea, I have not written anything for a while, but I changed the theme, go figure. I’m thinking of several articles one being Bees and Cell Phones. This could be a serious issue, maybe even be a good sci-fi story. Another is an idea for a podcast, Salvation Stories; it would be an interview type where I would talk to a few prominent Christian podcasters to get a wider audience. That would be after I get my podcast up and running. Just a few ideas, just to let the few that read my post know I’m still alive and have some ideas to put out there. I’ve been seriously busy with the church project, home life, gardening and yard work, and work which just continually beats me down with long hours (11 per day and 40 min each way commute) and a co-worker who is difficult to work with. (like not speaking to me for 6 weeks)

Blogging Church

March 8, 2007

I finished the Blogging Churchtoday! Finished it off with a Cafe Americano at my favorite Starbucks. I really did learn a lot. On my pre-review I thought I would just have a general refresher of what I knew. Well, I did learn how to tell if I’m addicted to my blog and how to measure it’s real importance. There are also included great links to other fantastic Church blogs. (I must link 43Folders, Merlin Mann wrote a page or so for the book and mentioned it on his blog.)

One of the good thinks about the book is the way it is written for the beginner and for someone who wants to gather more info to to persuade; not only positively, but a bit caution to the under-informed church members.  I at first only saw the upside, but now I can see some potential problems. Especially in the matter of whether or not to allow comments. And I can also see how it could be a distraction by sucking up hours of church staff time. Time some may not not have to spend.

I on the other hand being a Sunday School teacher can see the advantages for me. I can communicate with my class during the week, share prayer requests, give encouragement and list praises. Now the real challenge is to educate some of my classmates how to use the blog and Google Group. I’ve put our class goals on the Sunday School blog along with plans for our special fellowships. (I must say I’m learning right along with my class.)

Do I recommend the book? Wholeheartedly! The author Brian Bailey makes a passioned argument but still presents the downside with honesty. So buy the book, read it and then give it to you Pastor or church leaders. That’s what I’m going to do.