My Wife, My Best Friend?

November 7, 2007

My Wife is my best friend… And, guess what? I think that’s the best thing ever. I do love her more than a normal friend and certainly in a different way. But when you boil it down I view her a the best, closest friend I’ve ever had, bar none. Maybe it’s best said that she is even more than a best friend. A Super-best friend. Someone I share everything with (with the exception of the crap I put up with at work).

What puzzles me is how could someone not be best friends with their mate. A few people I work with look at me like I’m insane when I tell them my wife is my best friend. That makes me wonder about the quality or worth of their marriage or living arrangements. I do work with a wide variety of cultures, Muslim, Hispanic, Blacks, Red Necks, and others. Not all clearly express that they don’t view their mates as best friends, but many don’t act like it. Talking about things they say or do without their mates knowledge tells it all.

So is “best friend” the better term? Don’t know… but I do know it’s working out well for us that way.

Love for my Wife

September 25, 2007

I have been married for 26 years… I know I love my wife more today than when we were married. She is not a perfect wife (for sure I’m not the perfect husband), but I love her more than ever. It’s more passionate and at the same time a the “best friend in the world” type of love, how can I explain that?

Several times in our marriage I believed we were doomed. But I never considered leaving or divorce because I knew it was me and at least 1/2 of it was my baggage. All I would have done is take the baggage to another relationship.

What brings me to this post is that we have some friends who are having problems with their marriage and some of it reminds me of our problems. The rushing around of little kids, jobs taking to much time, being second (maybe even last) in getting attention (sex, what sex?), the stress of money and everything else  and that’s not mentioning families that seem to complicate everything with their problems and hangups.

My advice… communication, but first listen… really listen. If you think everything is OK and your partner blows you out of the water with news you never suspected. You’re not listening…or paying attention, verbal or physically.

My problem was/is I like to solve problems. When my wife would share her problems, I wanted to offer solutions. WRONG ANSWER, (maybe I’m slow… but it took me 15-18 years to get this) listen and then listen to her but don’t offer solutions. Believe it or not that’s not what she wants. She want attention and someone to listen to her.

Talking… well I’m getting better at sharing my feelings, needs and fears.

Do I have all the answers… not even close. But my wife and I can weather the storms of life with our love, respect and trust in Jesus Christ.

Back for More

September 11, 2007

Well Summer is over and work and home life has settled down to category 2 tornado. It it had gotten any busier I don’t know if I could have taken it much longer. Working six days of work mostly ten hour shifts, teaching Sunday School class and running the boy to football two a days. Now all we have to worry about is Home School and having the kids do their work on time.

Tomorrow is my oldest sons birthday, he’s 17. I’m so proud of him. He’s so diligent about school and football. There is a very nice girl that seems to enjoy his company. It’s so interesting to see him struggle to understand girls. Little does he know that will be a life long task, or better said… adventure.

I’m reading No More Christian Nice Guy by Paul Coughlin. Only about 1/4 the way thru and I find it interesting but I am hesitant about some of his ideas. Kinda like when I read Waking the Dead by John Eldridge.

I’m looking for input from someone who has read the book, and maybe someone make comments or criticisms of the book.

Parenting, what a challenge! It seems you can only know how you’ve done by the end result. And what is an end result? When I’m older and grayer with grandchildren? Or maybe there’s another way to “judge”? Maybe that could be in present actions, like following through on yard work and other chores. Or maybe making good judgments on friends, employment and schoolwork. I believe, I rely to much on the ending well part, and sometimes overlook positive signs now.

I’m very busy with work, church projects and work around the house (including homeschool things). So what a relief today when I asked my boys to dig a few holes for our new pergola I plan to install this coming week. I called home from work and they have two holes done and if the rain lets up they’ll get the other two done tonight. My girls 7 and 12-teen are scraping the arbor to ready it for paint on Monday. Sounds like a small thing, I could dig the holes in about an hour, or scrape the arbor in 30 minutes, but this will allow me to get it done quicker so I can plant the garden early in the week.

Plus, I think this will give them some ownership when we finish the projects. I have a mostly built shop (16×20 timber frame) that each has helped in their own way. The girls will come out and sweep the floor and pick up nails (I recycle used boards and beams) and the boys have helped lift walls and countersink nails in the floor.

So for the future I will look on the present and encourage my kids and be thankful for the wonderful help they provide. (I cannot leave out my beautiful Wife, she deserves more credit for the children’s good points than I do.)

Salvation Project

May 16, 2007

In a little over two months (Aug 1) I’m going to publish my first podcast, Lord willing. As I’ve blogged before it’s called “The Salvation Project”, now I am determining which questions to ask. So, if someone would make a comment on a few questions that would be good to ask I would appreciate it very much.

The format will be like an interview type podcast with the interviewer being as silent as possible, allowing the interviewee to tell his story on his own. Of course, well maybe not of course, I believe in eternal security; so I will approach salvation from that theology.

For the next several months I will study salvation doctrine and reread the Gospels to gain a much firmer grasp on Salvation. It’s almost unbelievable to know that God would offer salvation to me, a sinner by nature, and a big one at that!

So if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to make comments and I will keep you updated on my progress.

My first victims interviewees will be my family and close friends. Or maybe if you’re willing to be interviewed please send an email or comment my way. A lot of podcaster say you just need to ask the big fish to have them help you, so I’ll be asking some big names once I get my feet wet. Some big fish like Chip Ingram, James MacDonald, James Dobson just to name a few. They could only say no, so what do I have to lose?

Salvation Project

April 23, 2007

Here are the plans for my first podcast. The title will be Salvation Project and the idea is to interview Christians that are; friends, family, church members and podcasters. Maybe I could even get a few authors and business people. The idea came about because I lead a book study on Pilgrims Progress. Bunyan and the Puritans were big on asking “what was your salvation experience?”

I believe we as Christians today tend to not talk about our salvation experience, what a shame. Are we ashamed, unsure? maybe we don’t think it’s all that important. That tells me something is wrong, the salvation experience is the beginning of our journey, our second birth (into God’s family).

We celebrate physical birthdays, why not spiritual ones? Won’t they mean more to us in the long run? So that is the spring board for my podcast. I have a few projects to wrap up and a commitment to finish and I will be ready to start. More than likely late summer, or early fall. So if you’re reading this and think that sounds interesting make a comment and share your experience or even better volunteer to be one of the Christians I interview.

My plan for now is an edited type of podcast where the interviewer’s voice is rarely heard. I’ve heard several NPR radio shows with the style which I plan to use. One that I remember is a podcast called StoryCorps and it is about African Americans telling about the person who had the most positive influence on them when they were growing up. It’s a great podcast and several of the stories are very moving. My podcast need not be always touching or unique because my goal is to make this a thing we as Christians do more often. How better to lead people to Christ, than our testimony of how Christ saved us.

Blogging Church

March 8, 2007

I finished the Blogging Churchtoday! Finished it off with a Cafe Americano at my favorite Starbucks. I really did learn a lot. On my pre-review I thought I would just have a general refresher of what I knew. Well, I did learn how to tell if I’m addicted to my blog and how to measure it’s real importance. There are also included great links to other fantastic Church blogs. (I must link 43Folders, Merlin Mann wrote a page or so for the book and mentioned it on his blog.)

One of the good thinks about the book is the way it is written for the beginner and for someone who wants to gather more info to to persuade; not only positively, but a bit caution to the under-informed church members.  I at first only saw the upside, but now I can see some potential problems. Especially in the matter of whether or not to allow comments. And I can also see how it could be a distraction by sucking up hours of church staff time. Time some may not not have to spend.

I on the other hand being a Sunday School teacher can see the advantages for me. I can communicate with my class during the week, share prayer requests, give encouragement and list praises. Now the real challenge is to educate some of my classmates how to use the blog and Google Group. I’ve put our class goals on the Sunday School blog along with plans for our special fellowships. (I must say I’m learning right along with my class.)

Do I recommend the book? Wholeheartedly! The author Brian Bailey makes a passioned argument but still presents the downside with honesty. So buy the book, read it and then give it to you Pastor or church leaders. That’s what I’m going to do.